NO MO

OK so I just got back from this awesome conference called CIY MOVE. Normally after one of these christian conferences everyone is on a spiritual high and is unstoppable for God. I've gotten it every year, but this year... I don't know why I didn't get one but it is really starting to worry me. I had a great time, I think God really spoke to me. But Im not on top of the world with God thinking everything is gonna be fabulous. Many thoughts have been going through my mind, I think that Im doubting, I think that Im depressed. All I know is that I want to get OUT of this state Im in. God maybe secretly blessing me with this, whatever this is. I have a friend that I think her life is a spiritual high. I want to be that way, I want to be constantly that close to God, and now Im not even close to a spiritual high. I know many of the miraculous things God has done in my life and in others, but I dont stand in awe like I used to. I feel like if I go out into the world and do something in God's name, I will get a spiritual high, but I dont want the whole deeds without faith to play in. In the scheme of things, I know only God can help me get through this time in my life. But whether I like it or not, its gonna be on Gods time. This fact alone makes me a little unsteady, because all of the thoughts that go through my mind on a day-to-day basis, I dont want to doubt Him anymore and if its on His time, who knows the time it will take, it could be 5 mins from now, or 5 weeks from now. The unknown scares me, but that is where I have to give it to God and let him hold me and carry me out of this time, because I know I can't do this on my own. If anyone out there reads this and feels the same feel free to comment.... Pray